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"My only regret is that
I didn’t tell enough people
to fuck off."
-My 92 year old grandma (via expeditum)
"When I started making those weird voices, a lot of people told me how whack it was,” she says, “‘What the fuck are you doing?’ they’d say. ‘Why do you sound like that? That doesn’t sound sexy to me.’ And then I started saying, Oh, that’s not sexy to you? Good. I’m going to do it more. Maybe I don’t want to be sexy for you today."
-Nicki Minaj  (via dirrtyfilthynasty)

telapathetic:

sorry teacher I cant do my homework because I don’t fucking give a shit

shingeki-no-kou:

I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra

seriousjones:

mom: you haven’t been drinking in college, have you

me: oh don’t worry i’m stone cold sober

me:

image

image

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snarliekelly:

agentbering:

jessepumpkin:

i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer

This is what it means to be an introvert. Not being shy. This.

wrrench:

YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN
YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN

image

OH YEAH

vitalizinq:

The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them

echte:

i think seventh grade was a dark time for everyone


Me:  Who's a good boy?
Dog:  ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me:  YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
Dog:  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!